FOTS 3: Kindness & Gentleness—Proverbs 31: 10-31; John 8: 1-11
On this Mothers’ Day, we hear those words from Proverbs 31, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” It’s a very powerful and aspirational phrase for women and mothers. A friend of mine who has two rather energetic kids, a busy social life, work, and a husband who travels with his job, recently posted a framed sign about this Proverbs 31 statement in her house. It said, “She is clothed in leggings and oversized t-shirts, and she eats ice cream without fear of the future. Probably Me 24:7.”
Today we look at two more fruits of the spirit: kindness and gentleness. From the outset, it may seem as though they are the same thing, perhaps even synonymous with one another. But that’s not exactly the case. In many ways, kindness is a different virtue from gentleness. Kindness is more of a gracious act to others, whereas gentleness is finding a sense of grace and redemption in an unpleasant truth. For this Mother’s Day, let’s turn both of them into real characters and look at how scripture describes and gives personality to each fruit of the spirit.
Kindness is beautiful in her service and care. She gives generously of her heart and resources to nurture, to love, and to support others in need. Proverbs 31 talks about all the ways Kindness shows her care. In verse 15, she sacrifices her sleep and time to serve food to those in the house, so that from her time and labor, they are not hungry. In verse 20, Kindness is seen helping the poor and opening her arms to the needy in welcome. Kindness does not turn others away, but instead she prepares a large table and invites them to find food and rest.
Kindness is also quite literally nice. Proverbs 31:26 says that the words she speaks are wise and her instructions are given nicely (or with kindness). Most importantly, Kindness has a strongly developed faith in God. Proverbs goes on to say that she should be rewarded for all that she has done. Mothers’ Day is often a hard Sunday for many. We place a lot of expectations on women yet deny them many things as well. Far too long we’ve judged women by the standard of motherhood, homemaking, or their ability to play second fiddle to a husband. The truth is that any woman, any man, all people created by God are defined and measured solely and completely by their relationship to God, and not any other burdens society creates.
Proverbs 31 provides a much more expansive role for women: wife, clothing maker, cook, organizational planner, energetic worker, property developer, vineyard manager (and by default I’m guessing winemaker), businesswoman, volunteer, quilter, jewelry maker, and above all, child of God. All of these come from the list of things women can do in Proverbs 31. The common thread through all, however, is that anything she does is done with kindness.
Likewise, we read about another strong woman in the Gospel named Gentleness. When we meet her, Gentleness is in some trouble. She is accused of the sin of adultery, for which the law said she should be stoned. It was the black and white words on paper, the letter of the law, her sin demanded that she be stoned to death immediately. She was caught in the act, so there’s no question of her guilt. (Please notice that they did not bring a man out to stone alongside her, but I digress.)
But Jesus deals with her differently. He understands Gentleness and cares for her despite her fault. Gentleness is defined by words of truth without any harshness or judgement attached. Jesus asks at the end of the story where her accusers are. She responds that no one is left to accuse her. Jesus responds with, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” The truth of what she did wrong was spoken, not ignored, and not swept away as insignificant. But even when that truth was spoken, it was followed by redemptive solutions instead of condemnation.
Gentleness often gets punished because our society loves condemnation but is slow to care about redemption. She sinned, for goodness’ sake! She was caught in the act of adultery, guilty, guilty! But Jesus does not condemn her and sends her on with the instruction to go and sin no more. I remember once when I was in school, I got in trouble because a teacher overheard me calling her hateful or mean or snarky or something else like that. I was sent into the hallway as punishment. I was sure the teacher would call my mother and big, big trouble was on the way. Day after day I waited for that call to my mom. Finally, overcome with guilt one night, I confessed everything right at bedtime with this great whoosh of emotion and anguish coming out. I’m pretty sure I confessed to things I hadn’t even done yet. My mom very kindly and gently hugged me and said about my name calling episode, “Well, son, it might be true, but it wasn’t very nice. Go and sin no more.”
Both kindness and gentleness are found when we abide in God and let God abide in us. In Proverbs 31 we read of the talent, the strength, and wisdom of women, but the final two verses close out with the importance of that relationship, living or abiding in God. In the Gospel, we see a woman who finds redemption and a new hope for life simply because she was brought to Jesus and stayed close to him. Condemnation, punishment, and guilt were expected, yet in Jesus, she found mercy, redemption, and grace.
On this Mothers’ Day, we celebrate and honor the nurturing, loving presence which comes from those who practice kindness and gentleness in life. Kindness works for others, deals in niceness with those whom she encounters, and has a strong, developed faith. In turn her work should be rewarded first and foremost with our trust.
Likewise, Gentleness seeks to live in truth without harshness, judgment, or condemnation. She seeks the redemption and mercy which is found in knowing and drawing close to Jesus, who delivers from all accusers. We give thanks for all the mothers, those who have provided a mothering presence, and those women who have loved and cared for us in some way. May their wisdom, strength, and grace remind us of the power and the rest which comes when we abide in God and God abides in us.
Worship Video: https://www.facebook.com/fccmacon/videos/506187784568057