FOTS 5: Self Control—Numbers 20: 1-12; I Peter 1:13-17, 21-22
This week we consider the spiritual fruit known as self-control. We all smile and enjoy love, joy, peace, goodness. We frown a bit at patience. But nothing is as perilous to a pastor as standing up and preaching on self-control to a congregation. It treads so, so closely to the realm of “do as I say and not as I do.” Let me give you an example. With having COVID, I lost my sense of taste and smell. Completely. I could have bit into a raw red onion like an apple and gotten nothing.
Unfortunately, when I ordered and picked up my groceries, they accidentally included a bag of chocolate chip cookies. I assumed this was safe, after all, I can’t taste anything, right? I have learned a very important spiritual lesson from this. I ate every single one of those cookies in two sittings. I literally could not taste anything, but did that stop me from gobbling every single one of them down? Nope, it didn’t at all. I had a complete lack of self-control in those moments, and I had to pray, “Lord, forgive me, for I know exactly what I’m do.”
We all have that bit of struggle with self-control. I Peter 1 warns us accordingly, “So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come.” There are three main reasons we struggle with self-control: fixing problems, hiding trauma. and moderating anger,
Sometimes we lack self-control when we try to fix our problems. I remember years ago a friend who was having a rough patch was talking about an upcoming vacation and said to me, “Our family needs this right now.” I smiled and said, “I’m sure.” But the truth is they were dealing with debt, child behavior problems, and marital issues. What I wanted to say was that a vacation was not going to fix their issues. The only thing that fixes the issues of life is working through those issues with God’s strength and help. I Peter says, “Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.” It also goes on to say, “Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires.” It concludes with the instruction to be holy just as God who loves and cares for you is holy.
Deflecting the problems in life with self-indulgent behavior will not help you. It will actually make things worse. Take my friend who said their family needed that vacation. Imagine if they had used the five thousand dollars of vacation money to pay on the debt, hire a therapist, and work on being at peace in life. Self-control teaches us that we can’t avoid things until they go away. We must face the struggles of life head on with hope to find a solution.
Very similar to this ignoring life’s problems, self-control teaches that we cannot hide trauma in life. Many people in this world experience trauma as children and as adults. As a pastor and a prosecutor, I see more people living with traumas that I ever thought possible in this world. Sometimes trauma dwells with people for generations. Sometimes it takes people to the point they don’t care. They will engage in whatever behavior they choose because they no longer care for themselves and believe no one cares about them either. Unresolved trauma in life is destructive and damaging if we leave it alone and let it work its way with us.
I Peter says, “You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love deeply with all your heart.” Sincere love of the heart, from God to us, and from us to one another is a reminder that, whatever painful things of life you face, they do not get to have the last word. It’s a vicious cycle where the trauma robs a person of self-control because they no longer care, and then society judges them for a lack of self-control. The truth is self-control is not always so easy to control. But for those living with trauma, hear those words: verse 15 that God chose you, verse 17 that God has no preferences or favorites, and verse 22 saying that you were cleansed and loved by God, and God wants all the good in the world for you.
Nowhere is the struggle for self-control more evident than when we are angry. We say exactly what we think. We may shake with fury. We may cry and shout. But ultimately, an anger that boils over always leads to unfortunate actions. Moses was so angry at the Israelite people for their complaining and forgetting God’s blessings that, instead of following God’s instructions to speak to the rock for water, Moses struck the rock in anger while yelling at the people. Not only did Moses not follow God’s commands, he demonstrated a sinful anger at the people instead of God’s goodness and holiness. It cost him the Promised Land.
We see the consequences of anger and hatred mixed with a lack of self-control in the shooting in Buffalo, New York. A young man polluted by the sins of hatred and racism took a weapon and killed people of another race. Even if he is filled with the evil of racism, even if he is filled with an evil anger, even if he has learned these things fluently in our broken society, he still had no self-control to stop and consider the consequences and inhumanity of his action. And that is a consequence of our “say and do whatever you want” society. Anger and a lack of self-control will mix to unleash horrific consequences on the world.
That is why I Peter begins here with the words, “So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control.” The epistle goes on to warn that they should not slip back into old ways but continue to live in this trust and obedience to the God who chose them, loves them, and has given them grace and glory. The same is true for us. The same God who chose, called, and love the people of the first century, loves each one of us to this day.
We are called to live in a way of self-control, not just because it’s expected, but because not doing so is dangerous to us and others. In his anger, Moses could have turned the people even further against God. Behavior and actions lacking self-control will lead us down ever worsening paths which create suffering and trauma for us. Trauma, life’s struggles, and everything else that contribute to this sense of “who cares” and abandonment must be dealt with and worked through in the light of God love and never-ending desire for us to be in a good relationship with our Savior and Redeemer. Lean into that love of God and know that there is help to find a place of rest and fulfillment again in this life. As my friend says, God loves you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Worship Video: https://www.facebook.com/fccmacon/videos/523639226061157