Life Lessons 3: It’s Okay to Cry—Gen. 45: 1-15; Romans 11: 1-2, 29-31
Years ago before mental health struggles were well understood, a man went to his doctor and said he had a severe and terrible depression. He felt incredibly down and miserable, like he was in a hole he could never get out of. He told the doctor all he did was cry and feel sad. The doctor said in return that it was probably just a seasonal issue and would pass. He added, go do some fun things in life. The doctor advised the man to go see this hilarious show to make him laugh. It was a clown show featuring Bumpity the Clown. The doctor said it was the most entertaining, hilarious thing he had seen and was sure to make him laugh and cheer his spirits. The man looked down sadly and said, “But, doctor, I AM Bumpity the Clown.”
In our current society, we subscribe to this idea that it’s wrong to cry and be seen crying. Emotion can be viewed as dangerous. And I will confess to you, that if someone is sobbing uncontrollably next to me, I’m very likely to whisper, “Stop it, Pleaaaase!” because it’s so uncomfortable. Today, then, as we continue our life lessons, we confront this notion that feeling strong emotions is a dangerous and terrible thing. We look first at the example Joseph gave, then we look at the why, or explanation, in Romans.
First, we turn our attention to Joseph and his grand revelation to his brothers. Last week we talked about Joseph’s suffering—being sold to slavery by his brothers, prison, isolation—and then his eventual deliverance into this powerful position. Joseph is now faced with a choice, and that choice is found in two emotional approaches—anger or joy. Joseph could have let the anger and bitterness build and fester within him until now he is ready to unleash his fury and kill the brothers who wronged him. But that’s not Joseph’s character.
Joseph does not blame them or rebuke them. Joseph does not try to make them feel deeply guilty or ashamed of what they did many years ago. Joseph does not demand confession and penance from them, and he acts as though there is no pardon needed to be given at all. Instead, Joseph simply weeps. And he weeps so loudly that they can hear it throughout the entire place where he was. Years of trying to understand, overcome the anger, fear, and vision with God have led Joseph to a place where all he can do is reveal who he is and break down in weeping and sobbing before them.
His tone then becomes pastoral and comforting to these brothers who, I’m sure, fully expected to be killed in this moment. But Joseph has a very keen understanding that everything which had happened in his life corresponded to God’s purpose here and now for his life. He was trafficked by his brothers, but it was to get him to Egypt and establish his leadership and character. He was imprisoned but it was to develop his character further and get him to Pharaoh. And he was brought to a place of power and restoration to save people from suffering in the midst of the famine.
And so we see Joseph here, weeping before his brothers as he sees the big picture of what God was doing in and through him. I am sure by now that he can see God was with him in every single moment all the way from the fields of Caanan to the palace of Pharaoh.
It’s interesting to see that Joseph has a very different view of God than the rest of the Israelites. In most of Genesis, we hear about God’s promises. God makes a promise to Abraham about being the father of many nations. God makes promises to Isaac and Jacob as well. But nothing in Joseph’s story talks about God’s promises. Instead, Joseph understands God through God’s work in Joseph’s own life. For us it’s both. God is with us in and through our lives as the Holy Spirit working in us. And God is with us in the promise of hope eternal.
Joseph is one of the most relatable figures in Genesis for this very reason. He’s the example to us of one who had great power which could have been used for revenge, setting the score, or giving his brothers exactly what they deserved for their brutality to him. Heaven knows they deserved it—every bit of it. But instead, Joseph sets aside his power for vulnerability. He weeps before them, crosses the barrier between them, and hugs them while continuing to cry. He sacrifices his position to show immense love to those who were unloving, unlovable, and unlovely. It's a master class in reconciling. Somehow Joseph knew their hearts were different, and in a very unbelievable way, he invites them back in and is merciful and gracious to his brothers who intended him harm.
But that’s how Jesus works. In every human action meant for harm or evil, Jesus always forges a pathway to redemption, if we are willing to walk it. It is both lived in us and a promise to us. In Jesus’s own life, the Pharisees and his opponents meant to destroy him in every way, but Jesus used their meanness for redemption and grace in life. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all followed that example?
Imagine if we all looked at the world, the community, the people around us and offered the same level of love and mercy that Joseph offered his brothers or Jesus offered all of us in his death? Imagine if, instead of being toxic and unlovely, humanity was more devoted to being Christ-like with one another. Imagine if we decided that it was okay to cry, to laugh, to share our pain, struggles, and vulnerabilities and people listened with loving hearts and ears instead of using it as a weapon against us?
Romans talks to us about this reminder that God does not reject people, even if they are not getting along or have done some bad things. God’s gifts and God’s call stay with us always. But in everything, through the grace of Christ, God is merciful. That idea of mercy moves all the way through both of these scriptures. Being mean or vengeful is not a characteristic of strength. Joseph was an incredibly strong leader. Jesus was a powerhouse of wisdom, grace, and redeeming love. Both were filled with mercy. Both wept. And if Joseph and Jesus could be merciful and weep in life, so can we.
A teacher wrote a story about his student’s mercy and kindness. One Monday morning, things were a little off in first period. He says that the kids in his second-grade class could tell he wasn’t doing well and having a rough morning. So he explained that his wife’s mother died that weekend, and he was very worried about his wife. The kids all expressed their sadness for the teacher and the class went on as usual. It was tradition that the teacher gave them high fives and fist-bumps as they went on to their second period after his class. One little girl pushed a tiny piece of paper into his hand. She whispered, “It was really expensive when my daddy died last year, and I didn’t want ice cream anyway today.” Inside the teacher’s hand, wadded up in a piece of paper was her 75 cents for ice cream.
To the people of Christ who know and understand mercy and grace, much mercy and grace is expected. In life, it is hard to do this when we know people deserve what they get, are unkind, cruel, and generally awful. But we are called to love and mercy for the unlovable, the unlovely, and the unloving in life around us.
All around us there are people who struggle and suffer. There are people who think that hatefulness, unkindness, and meanness is the only way the world works. There are people who feel like no one loves them or cares at all. They need us to follow the example Joseph gave in forgiveness, mercy and love. They need us to live like Jesus and show them Jesus when it’s needed the most. And so, it’s okay to cry and weep, for mercy and love are found in a softened and gentle heart.
Worship Video: https://www.facebook.com/fccmacon/videos/558670352995565