Woman, Here Is Your Son: Exodus 2: 1-10; John 19: 26-27
One of the greatest forces on our earth is that of a relationship. Very often when we think of this in terms of a romantic relationship, when we fall in love, we see things through the rosy glasses, we grin and flirt and all those silly things. But relationships also have a strong bond that doesn’t involve romance. There is the parent-child relationship, relationships between friends, pastor and parishioners. Relationships go deep in our souls and spirits holding us to one another in powerful ways.
I remember a case I handled several years ago. A daughter had stolen significant amounts of money from her mother and squandered it all. Her mother was not broke, but left in a difficult financial place in her old age. Even in all of that betrayal, pain, and exploitive actions, the mother constantly said that she loves her daughter and refuses to get her in trouble. Relationships have many facets, some involve healthy actions and proper accountability; some blindly overlook everything.
In our studies on the seven last things Christ said on the cross we have looked at forgiveness and we have looked at Jesus remembering us. Today we consider that even on the cross, Christ spoke to the importance of living in a relationship. We see first that a relationship provides for. Now, I’m going to leave you hanging on what comes after that “for” part. When Christ was on the cross, he emphasized the importance of relationship to those gathered around by providing for his mother and his beloved disciple.
Jesus knew that his mother would be grieving. Yes, she understood the purpose and the mission of her son, but that doesn’t help with a mother’s grief at the death of her son. In fact, there is very little that can comfort such a loss. But Jesus says to the people there, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And to the disciple whom Jesus loved, he said, “Here is your mother.” And from that time on this disciple took Mary into his own home and cared for her.
Jesus provided for his mother—someone to look after her and care for her. Mary was older now, and the life and times were hard in those days. Jesus was worried about his mother and wanted to make sure she was provided for. But he also knew he was leaving the disciple whom he loved, and that his loss would be felt deeply by this particular disciple. So he made sure that Mary was there to comfort and give a loving, mothering presence to this disciple. He provided for a continued caring relationship for these two people whom he loved. Relationships are meant to provide for.
In addition to providing for a relationship is meant to save and protect. In our Old Testament story, we read about the birth of Moses. He was born in a time when things were bad for the Hebrew people. They were living in Egypt, and a new king who knew nothing of Joseph, the one who saved Egypt from starvation, was on the throne. He enslaved the Hebrew people, then out of fear that they were too numerous and powerful, ordered their baby boys to be killed.
So, out of love and a desire to protect and save her child, Moses’ mother let him float down the Nile in a basket. The daughter of Pharaoh discovered Moses and used his own mother to nurse him as a baby. When he was old enough, Moses was then taken to the palace. His mother’s love, the relationship they had as well as his relationship to Pharaoh’s daughter saved and protected him from certain death.
Too often in life our relationships turn out to be toxic. People are exploitive, have hidden motives, try to do us harm, or are so self-destructive that they are like a great big whirlpool sucking us down into their mess. God designed the relationships in our lives to be a beautiful and holy thing. All throughout the Bible we read of covenants, of relationships, of people working together in holy and loving ways. God had a relationship to Adam and Eve—even from the very beginning. And right to the very climax where Christ is on the cross, the whole story of faith is the story of God’s relationship with us, God’s people.
Christ even makes it a point to tell this from the cross, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And on the cross, Christ established one of the greatest relationships in history: a relationship with us. It’s the kind of relationship on which we should pattern our own behaviors and actions, on how we should treat people and live together as humans with one another. God meant for relationships to provide for, to save and protect, and to be rooted form the very foundation in love for one another.
When I think of having a solid relationship, especially with God, I think of that hymn which says to us, “safe and secure from all alarms….I’m leaning on the everlasting arms.” There should be love at the basis of our relationships, but they should also bring us a sense of peace, of joy, they should be kind and gentle in communication and behavior. In our relationships we should strive to be like Jesus…long-suffering, patient, kind, and ready to lift up others.
But God does not want us to be abusive or abused in our relationships and how we deal with one another. There are several instances where we are given examples of boundaries: Jesus flipped the tables in the temple; Jesus told the woman at the tomb not to touch him; Jesus confronts Peter about his betrayal and denial. Just as people should not use and exploit us because of a relationship to us, so likewise we should be strong in setting boundaries while gently and lovingly holding people accountable for their actions. Christ encourages us to lead, help, and grow together, not punish or pay back.
I had a friend who was married for several years. She was bright, funny, and full of laughter. But over a few years of marriage, I watched that change. She became quiet, critical of herself, believing that she was worthless, ugly, and useless. The source of that was her toxic relationship. Her husband was mean, insecure, and constantly putting her down to make himself seem better. That, right there, is abuse.
God’s relationship to us is the pattern that we should strive for in all of our relationships here on earth. It is a relationship that is loving, that provides for, that saves and secures. And we should do the same here on earth. We should be gentle with one another, loving. Even when we have faults and failures and see others behaving in bad ways: we should correct and set boundaries gently and carefully. out of love and not anger or a desire to “get even.”
When Jesus was on the cross, even in the midst of his own suffering, he spoke to those around him and to us down the ages about the importance of relationships. To his grieving mother who lost a son, he provided someone to love and care for her. To his beloved disciple who was hurting and grieving, he provided comfort and a mothering presence: “Dear woman, here is your son,” and “here is your mother.” From that day on the disciple took her into his home, and they cared for one another, even as Christ had cared for them. May it be so in all of our own relationships.